hmmm cough, drowsiness and a sore throat has been plaguing me since this morning.
i hope im not falling sick.
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
a half year streak of good health broken would be broken just like that.
i dun even know how i can even fall sick in the first place
i mean ive been sleeping so much lately.
*sigh*
whats more Monday is my first finals paper
and wed is my last.
after that im freeeeee to pursue my happiness!!!!!!
but i cant do that if im sick
so please dun let me fall sick
pretty please??
...
...
fml
btw the cello and violin are awesome instruments.... i'm just saying.
...
arghhh i feel a headache coming!!!
**********transmission cut**********
ps i can taste my throat when i cough O.O
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Re: be yourself
lol y u disable comments i wan comment!!!
oh well since i will be commenting here i can type a mini essay!!
anyway, i believe the phrase "to be yourself" is actually a paradoxical statement. you are right to say that our personalities and character have actually been influenced by our environment in some way or another. each type of interaction, be it direct *toking, playing* or indirect *reading or hearing about* actually shaped us into who we are now. therefore i believe u can say that our TRUE self is actually a UNIQUE blend of the different characteristics of other people that we have adopted and integrated into ourselves. of cos there are other things like pressure to conform to a certain behavior and blah blah.
So i guess the million dollar question is, since we form our "identity" by "kouping" favorable traits from other people, why do we sometimes hear ppl telling others to BE THEMSELVES?
well, perhaps one of the reason could be that by imitation and modeling, *why do i get a feeling i heard this somewhere bfore?* we could have over imitate someone or something such that we start to lose our unique self and our identity starts to be so similar to that "thing" that others are able to notice, and are irked by it. personally i do not think that there is anything wrong with it, but this shift in character, personality or even dress style may be disturbing to others. i mean, the human mind does not like change after all.
Of cos there is other reasons that come to mind y a person may tell another that.
it could just be meant as a passing remark/joke.
the guy is a evil cranky bastard who is just jealous that u look more handsome than him.
or it could just be that he is reminding u that u dun have to conform to other ppl's standards/opinion of u. dress as fanciful as u wish, speak as openly as u want, imitate that idol as much as u can. its up to u to define who/what u want to be.
and that is wad i'm saying to u.
in short, just be yourself ;)
btw the first thing that came to my mind is the song "be yourself" by Audioslave lolol
oh well since i will be commenting here i can type a mini essay!!
anyway, i believe the phrase "to be yourself" is actually a paradoxical statement. you are right to say that our personalities and character have actually been influenced by our environment in some way or another. each type of interaction, be it direct *toking, playing* or indirect *reading or hearing about* actually shaped us into who we are now. therefore i believe u can say that our TRUE self is actually a UNIQUE blend of the different characteristics of other people that we have adopted and integrated into ourselves. of cos there are other things like pressure to conform to a certain behavior and blah blah.
So i guess the million dollar question is, since we form our "identity" by "kouping" favorable traits from other people, why do we sometimes hear ppl telling others to BE THEMSELVES?
well, perhaps one of the reason could be that by imitation and modeling, *why do i get a feeling i heard this somewhere bfore?* we could have over imitate someone or something such that we start to lose our unique self and our identity starts to be so similar to that "thing" that others are able to notice, and are irked by it. personally i do not think that there is anything wrong with it, but this shift in character, personality or even dress style may be disturbing to others. i mean, the human mind does not like change after all.
Of cos there is other reasons that come to mind y a person may tell another that.
it could just be meant as a passing remark/joke.
the guy is a evil cranky bastard who is just jealous that u look more handsome than him.
or it could just be that he is reminding u that u dun have to conform to other ppl's standards/opinion of u. dress as fanciful as u wish, speak as openly as u want, imitate that idol as much as u can. its up to u to define who/what u want to be.
and that is wad i'm saying to u.
in short, just be yourself ;)
btw the first thing that came to my mind is the song "be yourself" by Audioslave lolol
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Can we pretend that airplanes In the night sky Are like shooting stars
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
I really like this part of "airplanes" by B.o.B, ft. Hayley Williams of Paramore. ONLY this part. the rest of the song sux. the start of the song had soooo much promise.... then came the lousy rapping.... bleh
anyway i changed my blogskin to this layout because SOMEONE said the previous 1 was very girly. whhhaaaaaaaatttt?? Actually i did not agree at first but like a wise guy once observed in a movie that is *seriously* waaayy too talked about:
"What's the most resilient parasite?"
"An Idea"
AND slowly, i was consumed by the paranoia that i could be sending a false impression to ppl who visit my blog! anyway i would probably change this blogskin. It is too similar to my old one. need to explore the new template designer function of blogger! well, once my exams are over that is. zzzzzzzz
ok so wad has been up?
before da parties i had been so very busy with school. Research paper, music jounals and then the mother of all Brainrape..... Accounting.
holy cow!! why cant I balance this shyt???? *balance... sheet... get it?... -.- never mind..*
yea so after overclocking my brain from monday to friday, the binge drinking at at blujaz cafe, and then the overhanging Cloud of Gloom that has been floating around since well, last week? it is no wonder i dun have the mood to study
seriously, emotions are soo dam contagious (chew, 2010). haiz
Monday, July 26, 2010
Siew Ling's 21 birthday celebration
credits go to siew ling *aka emily aka mum, cos she looks very motherly =D* and her fren for uploading the photos on face book! =)kenneth's 21st birthday celebration!!!
went to this place called Blujaz Cafe at bali lane or smt *near bugis* to celebrate his belated birthday. there was a whole room reserved for us... and it even had its own bar!!!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Toa Payoh has the BEST *subjected to opinion* durian ice cream in Singapore!!! just go to entertainment center first floor. its the only ice cream shop there!! =))Ive waking up at like 10 am since Friday because the weather in the morning made it sooo nice to sleep. all sleep debt repaid!!! =)
Went out to shop and watch movie yesterday. realised that it is a bad idea to go shopping with someone who does not want to shop. it makes things so boring. And it is really tiring to maintain a conversation with ppl who don't want to talk. In the end i only got a belt. wanted to get slippers but didnt cos we were rushing for time as the movie was about to start.
this is mine, 22 dollars inclusive of taxes. worth it? definitely not. portion is small and was not anything fantastic.
someone not having enuf sleep lol!
Pardon the lousy lighting. the prices at Waruka are really O.O lets just go sake sushi next time shall we? lol
anyway, the movie we watched was "nodame cantible" *or smt lidat. i had watched the first movie and tot it was quite funny. but the this movie was not as funny though. i mean the story does not make sense in the first place so i watched it for the exaggerated anime like theatrics but this show had a lack of it =/
______________________________________
anyway, just smt to add, i told kx bout it but dunno if he got say.
i was not too happy about the last minute inclusions to the movie as it was the second time my seating arrangement had to be affected by it. First time i had to sit at the front-est row, second time i had to be separated from the group and sit at the far right of the cinema. its not that i dun want to sit with kx, but i also want to sit with everyone. its kinda wierd that i dunno anything and then suddenly "hey u/we go sit at some place that i dun like seating k?" then when i wan to complain, i see the sad faces and im thinking like "oook, nobody wants tell me anything. so i better just play safe be accommodating." AND it is also soooo hard to say this kind of thing in person and spoil the whole mood. It is not that im selfish or anything but is it right for me to be affected by something that i have no control and no knowledge at all about? just thought u shld know =)
And seriously, this goes out to everyone, especially those who know they are guilty of it.
If u are going to be wearing an aura of moodiness the whole day and dun want to tell me what is the problem, just stay away from me. Do it 1 or 2 times occasionally its understandable, but please know when to stop. I too have my own problems to deal with and i dun need someone's else unhappiness to rub off on me. I mean, I dun go around all day with a black face, turning everyone off, and then rejecting all forms of concern and saying nothing is wrong, do I?
My policy has always been if u are worried about something, do something about it, if u cant do something about it, what is the point in worrying? AND if u choose not to do something about it, then make sure u have a good reason for not doing so and move on. so if u are gonna sulk all day and dun let me help, get away *or i will stay away from u* and stop influencing everyone with ur negativity. Its not only annoying for me but for im pretty sure everyone else out there, even if they dun say it.
being an emo kid is NOT cool period
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Its 10 03pm now and i am about to go to bed. dunno how i survived the accounting class. in fact i did not even feel tired in class, just kept yawning. anyhow, body felt like it is overclocking itself. i can feel my heart beating harder and my breaths shallower. i have to constantly remind myself to take deep breath or i may just faint from lack of oxygen. Am i exaggerating a bit? maybe, but it is exactly how i felt.
reached home at 6 30pm with a slight headache and needless to say, tired. so took a nap until 7 pm plus before eating dinner. woke up a few times while napping. i could only remember my father shouting something and king calling me to ask me what Ramly burger to buy *this is so random, no wonder i thought it was a dream*.
anyway, told boon that i was experimenting to see if i was able to keep up my daily routine while having as little sleep as possible. I was actually inspired to do this because my accounting and music teacher had recounted tales of how they took 8+ modules a sem, and slept an average of 2 hours a day. impressive, dosen't sound human. we'll see.
so now this is day 2 *the experiment had officially started yesterday* gonna wake up at 12 am, lets see how long i can last.
let the game begin
----------------------------------------------
update
alright its is currently 3 14am in the morning and continuing on my research paper. nothing much to update. other than that i feel much more at ease now than i was in the morning and afternoon. maybe its the coolness of the night, or maybe my body is slowly adapting. sometimes i forget how resilient the human body is.
still a bit stone though. but i suspect that it is more of a result of working on the paper than from lack of sleep. anyway the main content of my research paper has been completed and what is left to do now is to complete my half written introduction and start on my conclusion. after that it is just formatting and citation. i hope to complete all by tonight, if not, today. the last 2 weeks of sch are gonna be heavy with handing up of assignments and such. every min is precious. cannot afford to waste any more time.
break's over. lets do this
---------------------------------------------
update
Its 6 02am now. starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep. sense of balance a bit unstable. could be due to sitting down too long though. muscle starting to feel a little wierd. a slight headache.
its time for me to prepare for music class in school. luckily music is a rather slack module. not sure about how the teacher grades though.
either way, finished my research paper with citation all done. wads left is proofreading and cover page. which shld not be too much of a hassle.
thought about it for a while. decided that there is no point destroy my health for the sake of a stupid experiment. today will prob be the last night. probably.
anyway mission accomplished, research paper done. feels great. time to chiong accounting and music journals.
good job soldier, but the battle has only just begun.
reached home at 6 30pm with a slight headache and needless to say, tired. so took a nap until 7 pm plus before eating dinner. woke up a few times while napping. i could only remember my father shouting something and king calling me to ask me what Ramly burger to buy *this is so random, no wonder i thought it was a dream*.
anyway, told boon that i was experimenting to see if i was able to keep up my daily routine while having as little sleep as possible. I was actually inspired to do this because my accounting and music teacher had recounted tales of how they took 8+ modules a sem, and slept an average of 2 hours a day. impressive, dosen't sound human. we'll see.
so now this is day 2 *the experiment had officially started yesterday* gonna wake up at 12 am, lets see how long i can last.
let the game begin
----------------------------------------------
update
alright its is currently 3 14am in the morning and continuing on my research paper. nothing much to update. other than that i feel much more at ease now than i was in the morning and afternoon. maybe its the coolness of the night, or maybe my body is slowly adapting. sometimes i forget how resilient the human body is.
still a bit stone though. but i suspect that it is more of a result of working on the paper than from lack of sleep. anyway the main content of my research paper has been completed and what is left to do now is to complete my half written introduction and start on my conclusion. after that it is just formatting and citation. i hope to complete all by tonight, if not, today. the last 2 weeks of sch are gonna be heavy with handing up of assignments and such. every min is precious. cannot afford to waste any more time.
break's over. lets do this
---------------------------------------------
update
Its 6 02am now. starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep. sense of balance a bit unstable. could be due to sitting down too long though. muscle starting to feel a little wierd. a slight headache.
its time for me to prepare for music class in school. luckily music is a rather slack module. not sure about how the teacher grades though.
either way, finished my research paper with citation all done. wads left is proofreading and cover page. which shld not be too much of a hassle.
thought about it for a while. decided that there is no point destroy my health for the sake of a stupid experiment. today will prob be the last night. probably.
anyway mission accomplished, research paper done. feels great. time to chiong accounting and music journals.
good job soldier, but the battle has only just begun.
Its 3 in the morning and i am up doing my research paper.
its not that the paper is due tmr or anything. i just feel that i am lagging behind in everything and perhaps the only way to catch up to sacrifice my time on other things. in this case, it shall be sleep.
before this, i watched the premier of inception with king, ben and wei sian. the whole show ended at 12 15 and it was so complicated i felt like i was in a psychology/philosophy lecture. my mind was overwhelm by the complexity of the show that i had to take a 1 hour nap before starting.but that is not a bad thing though. tot it was a rather good show. like i said in fb, its a thinking show not some mindless blockbuster show that i tot it was going to be.
anyway here i am, blogging instead of doing the research paper. actually im trying to get in the "writing mood" which will then make writing oh so easy. what? there is such a thing.
ok i think im ready to do my paper now. screw u 7 hours of sleep. i am probably going to regret doing this but lets leave that for another time.
and screw u consistant cough that has been with me since after the movie -.-
right lets do this.
---------------------------------------------------
update
its currently 6.27 am in the morning. progress is slow but steady. was doing the introduction halfway and got stuck, i did not know wad my paper would consist of. was thinking of narrowing my scope, but then decided to decide about that later. i suspect that i may have too many things to put in. never mind. will worry bout that later.
went down to 7 11 at 4 30. tummy was rumbling and i was stuck. took a good long walk along to the shop. the chilly morning air. deathly silence of the wee hours. smt about the atmosphere then appealed to me. the stillness of the surroundings was captivating. it was as though i was walking inside a picture.
it was as though time had stopped for the moment.
ate my sandwiches and drank my coffee. continued my work. abit disappointed that i was progressing so slow. but the time has already past. nth will bring it back. only way is forward.
right lets move on
---------------------------------------
update
it is currently 10 37 am and i am still working on my research paper. progress is slow as usual and the speed of which i am completing the paper seems to be dropping as the clock ticks by. however i have completed 6 pages already and still have more to go. i do not know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. i have been working on this paper with not much of a direction in mind. i shld be able to fit everything i have researched on in the paper itself. that shld be a good thing. however im suffering from a mental drain now. working on the paper for 8 hours with only an hour nap and a 30 mins walk in between is pure torture. Whats more the previous night i had stayed up till 2am plus to have a crash course on accounting with my textbook/ do accounting homework and wokr up at 6am for music class. my mind is so drained that it wants to go out for a 5 km run, just to get away from this cursed paper. i constantly resist the urge to just stone at the computer. i feel like skipping the accounts class today. On a normal day i am barely able to keep myself awake just by listening to him. now in this zombified state, i dunno how i will survive his 2 hour mind rape session.
god help us all
its not that the paper is due tmr or anything. i just feel that i am lagging behind in everything and perhaps the only way to catch up to sacrifice my time on other things. in this case, it shall be sleep.
before this, i watched the premier of inception with king, ben and wei sian. the whole show ended at 12 15 and it was so complicated i felt like i was in a psychology/philosophy lecture. my mind was overwhelm by the complexity of the show that i had to take a 1 hour nap before starting.but that is not a bad thing though. tot it was a rather good show. like i said in fb, its a thinking show not some mindless blockbuster show that i tot it was going to be.
anyway here i am, blogging instead of doing the research paper. actually im trying to get in the "writing mood" which will then make writing oh so easy. what? there is such a thing.
ok i think im ready to do my paper now. screw u 7 hours of sleep. i am probably going to regret doing this but lets leave that for another time.
and screw u consistant cough that has been with me since after the movie -.-
right lets do this.
---------------------------------------------------
update
its currently 6.27 am in the morning. progress is slow but steady. was doing the introduction halfway and got stuck, i did not know wad my paper would consist of. was thinking of narrowing my scope, but then decided to decide about that later. i suspect that i may have too many things to put in. never mind. will worry bout that later.
went down to 7 11 at 4 30. tummy was rumbling and i was stuck. took a good long walk along to the shop. the chilly morning air. deathly silence of the wee hours. smt about the atmosphere then appealed to me. the stillness of the surroundings was captivating. it was as though i was walking inside a picture.
it was as though time had stopped for the moment.
ate my sandwiches and drank my coffee. continued my work. abit disappointed that i was progressing so slow. but the time has already past. nth will bring it back. only way is forward.
right lets move on
---------------------------------------
update
it is currently 10 37 am and i am still working on my research paper. progress is slow as usual and the speed of which i am completing the paper seems to be dropping as the clock ticks by. however i have completed 6 pages already and still have more to go. i do not know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. i have been working on this paper with not much of a direction in mind. i shld be able to fit everything i have researched on in the paper itself. that shld be a good thing. however im suffering from a mental drain now. working on the paper for 8 hours with only an hour nap and a 30 mins walk in between is pure torture. Whats more the previous night i had stayed up till 2am plus to have a crash course on accounting with my textbook/ do accounting homework and wokr up at 6am for music class. my mind is so drained that it wants to go out for a 5 km run, just to get away from this cursed paper. i constantly resist the urge to just stone at the computer. i feel like skipping the accounts class today. On a normal day i am barely able to keep myself awake just by listening to him. now in this zombified state, i dunno how i will survive his 2 hour mind rape session.
god help us all
Sunday, July 11, 2010
lets set things straight
ok i am pretty sick of ppl not wanting to listen to my explanations. past few days ive made ppl angry, been accused, and NOT been given a chance to explain myself. So i am going to do my best to explain everything in an objective and mature manner to the best that i can ok? *some of these ppl dun read the blog but im going to do it anyway* So let us all be open minded and think about things slowly before just dismissing them as bullshyt ok?
*now some ppl may already be offended because they think i may be saying that they were not open minded in the first place. see wad i mean about how i am unable to explain myself?...*
*btw i am also not explaining to any single individual cos not only 1 person has done these things*
ok first issue to address. i have been accused of saying things without consideration of other ppl's feelings *i can see most ppl nodding*.... to tell u the truth i pretty much agree with that accusation. HOWEVER i would very much like to clear up something. it is one thing to make fun of other ppl until they blow up or to carry a joke too far. However it really pisses me off, when i am stating facts and ppl get angry because of that. And by stating facts i dun mean saying things like "hey ur dad just died"... its more off "hey u were mean just now" then BOOM! angry. the best part is when the person goes into self denial... and than explanations dun matter. COS when u BELIEVE that u do not do it, even if i can point out every single detail of ur action, it wun matter. u have already shut ur mind off to suggestions. So am i still holding ur attention now? or did u already shut ur mind at the word "self denial"? And this brings me to my next point.
yea i know all that about diff phrasing of words can mean diff things and all. but sometimes i just wan to say something u know? and i just cant find a word to use or maybe im just trying to be funny. then u all get all angry and REFUSE to let me explain myself wah this is the most infuriating part. misunderstand and then dun wan to listen to explanation. which is also weird because if u are my fren i would not be purposely saying things to make u angry. then some ppl will say later "That is why u DUN THINK before u tok" yes i know that. That is why i pretty much agree with that. And that is why, when i have caused a misunderstanding i wan to clear it up ASAP. but nope ppl wan to get angry and dun want to tok to me or shut their minds to explanations and saying im insensitive and all. Then sometimes i feel the need to tell u the truth in which u may be unaware of it. but then u hear the first word and oh suddenly all defense mechs are up. can u imagine how a conversation will be like in an occasion like this?
*im just making this up btw*
zqq: " hey u are a pervert"
person: " wah why u scold me that leh *why u scold me fck? camp joke*. its not like i go around raping girls and putting cameras in girls toilet."
zqq: " hey i didnt mean to say that u are a pervert, but im just saying that u keep looking at girls may make u seem like 1"
person: " so wad? i think u are just bias against guys who like to look at girls. ive been looking at girls since i was a baby and no one has complained about it. fck la whatever u want la"
or simply just
person: " fk u la i already say im not, right?" *storms away*
now how do u respond in a situation like this without making things worse?
and please, this is purely made up on the spot im not shooting anyone. This is just a summary because almost all this kind of incidents that happen to me goes something like this.
then another thing ive been accused of is being bias/ judgmental / stubborn, be it towards a product, a person or whatever. ok let me get this straight. there is probably NO ONE in this world who hasnt judged anybody before. to question y someone judges u have to ask ur self what would a person who does not judge be? he.... will be a person with NO opinions whatsoever. in short, a zombie or a robot. *i could prob write an essay on why judging is crucial but i wun now* in fact when ppl say that i am bias because of judging, they are IN FACT making a judgment themself. something along the lines of "zqq is such a bias person". so in the end, they are bias against me being biased.
So how? i used to think that ppl say im stubborn/ bias/ judgmental all these because they were angry and so say it in a fit of anger. however, now im starting to wonder if perhaps that is wad ppl really think of me as because a few have said it to me already. perhaps it is because sometimes i talk too much. but then if that is case wad am i supp to do? definitely whatever i say has to contain my opinion or ideas on smt right? i can't just spew random facts all the time right? or maybe cos ppl feel about something strong, like that he is not a pervert. so as i try to say "hey stop staring at girls" i may come across as strongly opinionated? i dunno.
ok then there is also an issue on how ppl dun like dun say, then dun say get angry. So am i supp to be a mind reader? it also dosent help when ppl like to act angry/ emo or wad then when they are really angry/ upset i cannot tell. come on guys. im not psychic. i would REALLY like to say that those ppl who do these deserve what they are getting but it would not be objective anymore right? haizzz
ok i have pretty much lost all the steam i had when i started this post so im gonna end here. reading tru my entry again i am pretty sure some of readers will be pissed off or something. but then again when i was typing this out i am also reminded of others whom i have have seen to be in the same boat as me, getting misunderstood and all with no chance of explaining. SO if u are still reading this, i IMPLORE to u to read it with an open mind.
Regardless of whether u think im stubborn, arrogant, narcissistic, just plain fcked up, if u are truly a friend TELL ME WHY, either by commenting or whatever. u dun say, i wun know, then dun get angry.
*now some ppl may already be offended because they think i may be saying that they were not open minded in the first place. see wad i mean about how i am unable to explain myself?...*
*btw i am also not explaining to any single individual cos not only 1 person has done these things*
ok first issue to address. i have been accused of saying things without consideration of other ppl's feelings *i can see most ppl nodding*.... to tell u the truth i pretty much agree with that accusation. HOWEVER i would very much like to clear up something. it is one thing to make fun of other ppl until they blow up or to carry a joke too far. However it really pisses me off, when i am stating facts and ppl get angry because of that. And by stating facts i dun mean saying things like "hey ur dad just died"... its more off "hey u were mean just now" then BOOM! angry. the best part is when the person goes into self denial... and than explanations dun matter. COS when u BELIEVE that u do not do it, even if i can point out every single detail of ur action, it wun matter. u have already shut ur mind off to suggestions. So am i still holding ur attention now? or did u already shut ur mind at the word "self denial"? And this brings me to my next point.
yea i know all that about diff phrasing of words can mean diff things and all. but sometimes i just wan to say something u know? and i just cant find a word to use or maybe im just trying to be funny. then u all get all angry and REFUSE to let me explain myself wah this is the most infuriating part. misunderstand and then dun wan to listen to explanation. which is also weird because if u are my fren i would not be purposely saying things to make u angry. then some ppl will say later "That is why u DUN THINK before u tok" yes i know that. That is why i pretty much agree with that. And that is why, when i have caused a misunderstanding i wan to clear it up ASAP. but nope ppl wan to get angry and dun want to tok to me or shut their minds to explanations and saying im insensitive and all. Then sometimes i feel the need to tell u the truth in which u may be unaware of it. but then u hear the first word and oh suddenly all defense mechs are up. can u imagine how a conversation will be like in an occasion like this?
*im just making this up btw*
zqq: " hey u are a pervert"
person: " wah why u scold me that leh *why u scold me fck? camp joke*. its not like i go around raping girls and putting cameras in girls toilet."
zqq: " hey i didnt mean to say that u are a pervert, but im just saying that u keep looking at girls may make u seem like 1"
person: " so wad? i think u are just bias against guys who like to look at girls. ive been looking at girls since i was a baby and no one has complained about it. fck la whatever u want la"
or simply just
person: " fk u la i already say im not, right?" *storms away*
now how do u respond in a situation like this without making things worse?
and please, this is purely made up on the spot im not shooting anyone. This is just a summary because almost all this kind of incidents that happen to me goes something like this.
then another thing ive been accused of is being bias/ judgmental / stubborn, be it towards a product, a person or whatever. ok let me get this straight. there is probably NO ONE in this world who hasnt judged anybody before. to question y someone judges u have to ask ur self what would a person who does not judge be? he.... will be a person with NO opinions whatsoever. in short, a zombie or a robot. *i could prob write an essay on why judging is crucial but i wun now* in fact when ppl say that i am bias because of judging, they are IN FACT making a judgment themself. something along the lines of "zqq is such a bias person". so in the end, they are bias against me being biased.
So how? i used to think that ppl say im stubborn/ bias/ judgmental all these because they were angry and so say it in a fit of anger. however, now im starting to wonder if perhaps that is wad ppl really think of me as because a few have said it to me already. perhaps it is because sometimes i talk too much. but then if that is case wad am i supp to do? definitely whatever i say has to contain my opinion or ideas on smt right? i can't just spew random facts all the time right? or maybe cos ppl feel about something strong, like that he is not a pervert. so as i try to say "hey stop staring at girls" i may come across as strongly opinionated? i dunno.
ok then there is also an issue on how ppl dun like dun say, then dun say get angry. So am i supp to be a mind reader? it also dosent help when ppl like to act angry/ emo or wad then when they are really angry/ upset i cannot tell. come on guys. im not psychic. i would REALLY like to say that those ppl who do these deserve what they are getting but it would not be objective anymore right? haizzz
ok i have pretty much lost all the steam i had when i started this post so im gonna end here. reading tru my entry again i am pretty sure some of readers will be pissed off or something. but then again when i was typing this out i am also reminded of others whom i have have seen to be in the same boat as me, getting misunderstood and all with no chance of explaining. SO if u are still reading this, i IMPLORE to u to read it with an open mind.
Regardless of whether u think im stubborn, arrogant, narcissistic, just plain fcked up, if u are truly a friend TELL ME WHY, either by commenting or whatever. u dun say, i wun know, then dun get angry.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Yeshh weekend is here again!! but before i start on yet another masochistic studying or assignment completing, is guitar time!!! woooooo! i been neglecting it for soooooo long. If only my guitar was as soft as a soft toy then i can hug it to slp!!!
ok that sounds dam gay.... MOVING ON!!!
er hem old song vindicated but still dam nice to play on my guitar =) reminds me of camp days...
just sit back relax and enjoy the show =)
OMG by usher!!! only did the first verse though oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh my gosh
this song is dedicated to king because he hates the song LOL
...gonna let the beat drop
ok this is embarrassing.... im gonna do a short cover of justin bieber's baby.
hey dun get me wrong, justin bieber is gay but its the 14th most looked up on ultimateguitar.com!!
so how? better than bieber right? lolol
k anyway some updates on my boring life. went a 35 dollar haircut with king only to end up looking the same lol. well i guess its kinda because i told the hairdressor to leave it as long as possible. but then it is definitely a improvement cos i can now feel the breeze in my hair wwwssshhhhhhhh!!
then after that went to uniclo and bought 4 pairs of shirt and 2 pairs of shorts!!! now i am wondering if i actually need so many shirts.... oh well sunk cost..
MOVING ON!!!!
ok that sounds dam gay.... MOVING ON!!!
er hem old song vindicated but still dam nice to play on my guitar =) reminds me of camp days...
just sit back relax and enjoy the show =)
OMG by usher!!! only did the first verse though oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh my gosh
this song is dedicated to king because he hates the song LOL
...gonna let the beat drop
ok this is embarrassing.... im gonna do a short cover of justin bieber's baby.
hey dun get me wrong, justin bieber is gay but its the 14th most looked up on ultimateguitar.com!!
so how? better than bieber right? lolol
k anyway some updates on my boring life. went a 35 dollar haircut with king only to end up looking the same lol. well i guess its kinda because i told the hairdressor to leave it as long as possible. but then it is definitely a improvement cos i can now feel the breeze in my hair wwwssshhhhhhhh!!
then after that went to uniclo and bought 4 pairs of shirt and 2 pairs of shorts!!! now i am wondering if i actually need so many shirts.... oh well sunk cost..
MOVING ON!!!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
i think i am mad
sometimes there so many things going on in my mind that i am unable to put it into words. perhaps the best i can do is to put a word to each thought before a new 1 comes in and totally overwhelms the other.
sometimes... its just blank.
sometimes a thought just floats by and i grasp it quickly, wanting to share it with anyone who is willing to listen. most of the time i am alone, even amongst friends. And reluctantly, i have to let it go. what could have been just pure nonsense, or maybe a brilliant idea or advice just wastes away into nothingness.
sometimes a thought keeps recurring in my head, like a broken recorder. repeating and repeating and repeating. like a never ending nightmare. it scares me.
so wad is the point of this post?
i dun know. its one of those moments that there are so many things in my head i had to release them somewhere. i remember wanting to blog something about friends but its gone now.
i am tired
and i still have my esl essay to do.
sometimes there so many things going on in my mind that i am unable to put it into words. perhaps the best i can do is to put a word to each thought before a new 1 comes in and totally overwhelms the other.
sometimes... its just blank.
sometimes a thought just floats by and i grasp it quickly, wanting to share it with anyone who is willing to listen. most of the time i am alone, even amongst friends. And reluctantly, i have to let it go. what could have been just pure nonsense, or maybe a brilliant idea or advice just wastes away into nothingness.
sometimes a thought keeps recurring in my head, like a broken recorder. repeating and repeating and repeating. like a never ending nightmare. it scares me.
so wad is the point of this post?
i dun know. its one of those moments that there are so many things in my head i had to release them somewhere. i remember wanting to blog something about friends but its gone now.
i am tired
and i still have my esl essay to do.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
suay - est night ever
didnt plan on going wei han's piano concert last night because no 1 i knew was going. but then he keep asking so i was like k la k la i go la. besides, i also wanted to see how a piano concert is like, and wei han is a REALLY good piano player.
so as i was preparing to leave i kept bugging king to follow me to ngee ann poly for the concert, and i was dam surprised when he agreed la lol. who knew king wads such a arts person lol. so anyway, we boarded the bus at around 6 45pm *the concert starts at 6 45 lol but i already told wh that i will be late since it was a last min change of plans* yep and here is the summary of wad happened:
1) halfway through the right we ran into a massive jam.
2) the bus driver then said smt about changing its route to bypass bukit timah road and heading straight to Clementi
3) the alternative route was heavily jammed as well and when i checked my GPS *thank god for my smart phone* the route totally skips ngee ann poly wtf
4) told wh that we would be VERY late and he informed me that he heard a bridge fell at bukit timah rd 6 avenue *go see the Sunday Times first page*
5) dropped at clementi area and took a bus back to ngee ann poly
6) by then it was already 8 30pm *1 hr 45 min on the traveling wtf!!!* we arrived just in time to catch the finale, which luckily was wei han's duet *and the only item which he was performing.
then after that we wanted to have supper. mind u the king and i did not have dinner. then we could not come to an agreement with wei sian and ben on where to eat so king and i decided to go somerset to try some ramen shop. took the bus and missed our stop. got down at some ulu place and tried flagging a cab for i think 15 mins plus. in the end we just took the next bus that came and dropped off at some place along bukit timah rd and ate macdonalds at serene center.
after that we went to try out the Island Creamery *click for more info* which was perhaps the only consolation for wad was the suayest night ever. and i took the tiger sorbet while king tried the burnt caramel and cookies and cream. i actually liked the tiger sorbet which is actually tiger beer made into a sorbet *erm was that a good description?* although king didnt like it. the burnt caramel just tasted like cold caramel and the cookies and cream had a kind of cheesy taste to it which i did not really like lol.
anyway to end off the whole night, i missed the bus stop on my way home and the bus brought me all the way to near the end of whampoa there and holy shyt i just realized i was at walking distance to the toa payoh poly clinic or st andrews jc -.-""
haiz what a night..
so as i was preparing to leave i kept bugging king to follow me to ngee ann poly for the concert, and i was dam surprised when he agreed la lol. who knew king wads such a arts person lol. so anyway, we boarded the bus at around 6 45pm *the concert starts at 6 45 lol but i already told wh that i will be late since it was a last min change of plans* yep and here is the summary of wad happened:
1) halfway through the right we ran into a massive jam.
2) the bus driver then said smt about changing its route to bypass bukit timah road and heading straight to Clementi
3) the alternative route was heavily jammed as well and when i checked my GPS *thank god for my smart phone* the route totally skips ngee ann poly wtf
4) told wh that we would be VERY late and he informed me that he heard a bridge fell at bukit timah rd 6 avenue *go see the Sunday Times first page*
5) dropped at clementi area and took a bus back to ngee ann poly
6) by then it was already 8 30pm *1 hr 45 min on the traveling wtf!!!* we arrived just in time to catch the finale, which luckily was wei han's duet *and the only item which he was performing.
then after that we wanted to have supper. mind u the king and i did not have dinner. then we could not come to an agreement with wei sian and ben on where to eat so king and i decided to go somerset to try some ramen shop. took the bus and missed our stop. got down at some ulu place and tried flagging a cab for i think 15 mins plus. in the end we just took the next bus that came and dropped off at some place along bukit timah rd and ate macdonalds at serene center.
after that we went to try out the Island Creamery *click for more info* which was perhaps the only consolation for wad was the suayest night ever. and i took the tiger sorbet while king tried the burnt caramel and cookies and cream. i actually liked the tiger sorbet which is actually tiger beer made into a sorbet *erm was that a good description?* although king didnt like it. the burnt caramel just tasted like cold caramel and the cookies and cream had a kind of cheesy taste to it which i did not really like lol.
anyway to end off the whole night, i missed the bus stop on my way home and the bus brought me all the way to near the end of whampoa there and holy shyt i just realized i was at walking distance to the toa payoh poly clinic or st andrews jc -.-""
haiz what a night..
Saturday, July 3, 2010
So this is contemporary dance
went to wen hui's dance performance on Friday. reached late because last class ended late. but then again it was lucky that we had not arrived earlier. u see the whole performance was in some room that was very small and every 1 had to squeeeeeze. But then since we were late we were the last to sit in so we had space for our selves! =) oh and that building where the perfomance was held is a goddamn maze. if i had a time machine i would go back in time and murder the retarded architect.
anyway, although they said no recording was allowed in the room *studio?*, being the gangster i am i just recorded it anyway *hooray for piracy!!!*. figured the dancers would wan to see how they did anyway. so yea here are the 3 dances i recorded with my *er hem* HTC Desire phone.
the first video is pretty blur cos i recorded it in a rush. i was looking around for members of the dance org that may be watching out for ppl like me *Tactic sia!* actually there was this guy standing *very close* to the right of where i was seated who looked like some sort of bouncer. i was surprised he did not take notice of me.... but i guess he was too engrossed in the performance. not surprising since we all know who was the star *hint the only 1 who got a sunflower*.
ok for the next 2 i was able to "sort of" focus my camera so its much clearer.
I like this. the one above ^^^^^
lol i dunno y but i find it very funny hahaha *sorry no offence ppl*
i think it has something to do with the abstract math lesson at the start, ppl dancing around in casual clothes, the strangely catchy music *which sort of reminded me of the lemon tree song =/* and someone just randomly throwing a dice to the dance floor at the end hahaha!
yea so anyway, i thought it was a pretty great performance overall, even if i may not understand the dances... and Kudos to the STAR of the show, u have really set the standard for all aspiring dancers to follow. hehe
anyway, although they said no recording was allowed in the room *studio?*, being the gangster i am i just recorded it anyway *hooray for piracy!!!*. figured the dancers would wan to see how they did anyway. so yea here are the 3 dances i recorded with my *er hem* HTC Desire phone.
the first video is pretty blur cos i recorded it in a rush. i was looking around for members of the dance org that may be watching out for ppl like me *Tactic sia!* actually there was this guy standing *very close* to the right of where i was seated who looked like some sort of bouncer. i was surprised he did not take notice of me.... but i guess he was too engrossed in the performance. not surprising since we all know who was the star *hint the only 1 who got a sunflower*.
ok for the next 2 i was able to "sort of" focus my camera so its much clearer.
I like this. the one above ^^^^^
lol i dunno y but i find it very funny hahaha *sorry no offence ppl*
i think it has something to do with the abstract math lesson at the start, ppl dancing around in casual clothes, the strangely catchy music *which sort of reminded me of the lemon tree song =/* and someone just randomly throwing a dice to the dance floor at the end hahaha!
yea so anyway, i thought it was a pretty great performance overall, even if i may not understand the dances... and Kudos to the STAR of the show, u have really set the standard for all aspiring dancers to follow. hehe
freeeeee!!!
Alright this week has officially ended and so has most of my urgent assignments!! Econs test last friday, English summary test on monday *nothing much though* accounting test on Wednesday and finally, my freaking econs project presentation today!!!!
ok i had no time to blog these few days as i was REALLY busy. I didnt even have time to go to the gym -.- now i feel my self growing weak. WEAK =(
anyway i feel so freeeee now. its like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders, although i know that the next accounting test is coming soon *nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo* and there is still my 7 page research paper and another stupid essay.
ok wad else wad else....?
oh! went to zhan xiong's bday party last week. hmmm how shld i describe it.....? firstly, i had a econs project meeting at plaza sing before the party. the econs project was expected to start from 12 and end at 3, however, the meeting ended at 2, so i went to bras brasah to get a new and better CAPO *=)* for my guitar and headed straight to the chalet at loyang there *which is somewhere near pasir ris park.... freaking far from where i was* After i reached the area, i had to wait for kx, xue min and jing mei to arrive and they came like around 2 to 3 hours after i had reached the place. almost DIED of boredom cos zx was busy doing his own stuff.
ya so anyway, after the cutting of cake and eating, i and my secondary sch frens *except zx who was entertaining other ppl.... or maybe just his gf =/* went to hide in a room in the chalet and played tai ti while i played some songs on my guitar. ASKED zx to come to the room so that i can quickly play a song for him and go home but he keep disappearing -.-
in the end, just as we were about to go home, we saw him and he said "jus play 1 song la 1 song la." so i said fine pick a song and HIS GF chose "hey soul sister" The video is on facebook cos i am lazy to figure out how to post it here so if u are my fren u can go see if u wan *BING*
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=645318610&v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=1542036630423
as u can see, i was under a window *zx and his gang were looking out ofthe window* and every1 was saying "oooo how romantic" im like wtf?!?! and halfway through his gf started video recording this shyt and then he asked his mother to come and listen too lol
ok im pretty tired now so i will continue this tmr. nightz!!!
ok i had no time to blog these few days as i was REALLY busy. I didnt even have time to go to the gym -.- now i feel my self growing weak. WEAK =(
anyway i feel so freeeee now. its like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders, although i know that the next accounting test is coming soon *nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo* and there is still my 7 page research paper and another stupid essay.
ok wad else wad else....?
oh! went to zhan xiong's bday party last week. hmmm how shld i describe it.....? firstly, i had a econs project meeting at plaza sing before the party. the econs project was expected to start from 12 and end at 3, however, the meeting ended at 2, so i went to bras brasah to get a new and better CAPO *=)* for my guitar and headed straight to the chalet at loyang there *which is somewhere near pasir ris park.... freaking far from where i was* After i reached the area, i had to wait for kx, xue min and jing mei to arrive and they came like around 2 to 3 hours after i had reached the place. almost DIED of boredom cos zx was busy doing his own stuff.
ya so anyway, after the cutting of cake and eating, i and my secondary sch frens *except zx who was entertaining other ppl.... or maybe just his gf =/* went to hide in a room in the chalet and played tai ti while i played some songs on my guitar. ASKED zx to come to the room so that i can quickly play a song for him and go home but he keep disappearing -.-
in the end, just as we were about to go home, we saw him and he said "jus play 1 song la 1 song la." so i said fine pick a song and HIS GF chose "hey soul sister" The video is on facebook cos i am lazy to figure out how to post it here so if u are my fren u can go see if u wan *BING*
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=645318610&v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=1542036630423
as u can see, i was under a window *zx and his gang were looking out ofthe window* and every1 was saying "oooo how romantic" im like wtf?!?! and halfway through his gf started video recording this shyt and then he asked his mother to come and listen too lol
ok im pretty tired now so i will continue this tmr. nightz!!!
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