No matter how hard it is, i must do my best. I must accept everyone for who they are.

I must accept that it is too difficult to attempt to change others, no matter how righteous i think my stand is. I must accept that not everyone wants to consider that my opinion could have the slightest chance of being right, and attempt to reflect on themselves. I must accept that people are not ready to tell me in the face that i am wrong, and so expect me not to do the same. I must accept that people are not ready to be truthful about their actual feelings and opinions and so expect me to be the same.

It is difficult. But i just have to accept people for who they are.

All in order to fulfill the role of a good friend.

Time is running out

I'm so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so tired so

Fcked up semester.

Really. i shldnt waste too much time trying to get good grades. After all, a SIM degree IS a SIM degree. they are all the same. UB? wad UB? wads the diff? u study in SIM right? yep. Only ppl who are in SIM truly know the diff between the schools. But that's the minority. everyone else outsides just sees SIM. And if that is wad THEY think, then clearly it must be the truth. its the fundamental law of marketing. it is about wad the market perceives, not us. So there is no point deceiving ourselves that if we study harder we will be better able to get a job. 

Seriously, i shld be spending my time doing other more useful things. The opportunity cost of solely getting a good grades is too great. in less than 2 years i am going to graduate. I will have nothing to my name except a piece of paper. It scares me. And there is nothing great about graduating with a SIM degree. I need to be able to achieve smt more than that. And i am fcking wasting my life trying to keep up with everything. I need TIME to work on it. And i cant do that if I am too busy with school work.

Something has got to give. Scarcity of time glares at me in the face.

Time is running out. 

It truly is.

useless day

fcking useless day today. woke up at 9am. tried to do the law project but couldnt concentrate. took a nap till lunch. after lunch, did 1/4 of my project till 3pm. was about to go for my 30/60 run when it started raining.bum arnd at home till 4 but it was still raining so went to the gym. Did 3 sets of inclined calf raises. then got this bugger keep taking my weights. got pissed off and walked to the stadium to run. it was still raining and my socks and shoes were drenched. reached the stadium, tried to run but no energy. suddenly feel dam tired. ran 2 rounds and then decided to walk back home. reached home 5pm. bad mood. need to go out Funan to buy thumbdrive and then meet friends for dinner. hope things will turn out better at night.

Dawn of the scary eyes

ok guys, so i was working on my law project. whipped out my lecture notes and stuff. As i was looking through, i flipped a page and saw a slide on dawn yang and wendy cheng, or also known as xiaxue. So who are they? well, only the 2 of the most famous "celebrity" bloggers in town!!! or at least the only 2 celebrity bloggers i know =/... other than yours truly *just kidding* But anyway, i dun really care much about xia xue, but i used to think dawn was REALLY pretty. wad no? well, i remember someone telling me dawn looks scary or smt. R U serious??? ok so anyway i was bored and so decide to check out her blog.

Oh, btw, her blog is like 80% pictures in which 60% of the pictures are of herself, *heyyy that reminds me of someone's blog... lol* so yea u can guess y she has so many fans. So i was scrolling scrolling and scrolling, looking at the pictures she posted up. then it it casually dawned on me, : *pun intended*

"why in the world are her friends so ugly??"

wait wait dun go all hating, its just an opinion of mine, if u dun believe go take a look urself! i was like, is it just me or... you know, maybe its just psychological comparative effect thingy u know, like how she herself is so pretty so other ppl who stand next to her look... less pretty? yea i get it. i mean the effect happens all the time when i look at pictures I take with my friends u know. there is always the one handsome guy *erhem*  who just so stands out from the crowd, radiating awesomeness *cough*, not that he means to make the others look bad u know. That's the reason y i sometimes declined taking photos with my frens. you know, i hate to make myself look bad. huh no? u tot i was referring to m... oh u jest!

yea so there's the "effect", and maybe also cos she is prolly the only one who is a model so she knows how to turn and twist and distort her pretty face for the camera, whereas her friends attempt to *or dun* do the same but without the success.  

Or maybe she is just a bitch who purposely takes pics of herself with ugly ppl to make herself look better.

ok i kid i kid. but seriously she is REALLY pretty. and maybe err too pretty? as i continued scrolling down her blog posts i started to get a weird feeling in my gut *and no im not hungry... ok maybe just a bit, lemme go drink some milk*. the more i look at her in the pictures, the more she look at me. it started to feel like the pictures of her were staring into my soul; and for a moment there, i tot i saw her wink * i kid the winking part*.

you know, maybe its because of her huge giant eyes. after a while, it sort of feels like they are not... natural? as opposed to supernatural? yea i kid u not!! large eyes may be pretty. but too large and its just plain creepy, in the same way lady gaga's HUMONGOUS eyes in the bad romance mv gave me nightmares. yea i mean how are her *dawn* eyes so friggin big!!! and the way she looks at the camera, wait lemme check again..... ok its official, in most of her photos she... "forms" her eyes in such way that it seems "evil"... ok i cant describe it compare for urself.

Dawn, from her blog

some pic of a scary doll  i took in japan

wtf wads wrong with this guy??

Suddenly i am reminded about my fren who told me that Dawn looks scary. Yea, totally get wad u mean now.

ok guys, anyway ive been feeling very good this week =) no deadlines and stuff, i am loving the void left by all those pressure ive been facing. Yea sure, still got stuff to do but like i said before, the fact that the deadlines are more than 1 week away makes me feel soothing and refreshing, like the ricola guy. Oh yea and ive been training dam intensely as well as eating and drinking as much as i can this week, i figured the reason y i am not putting on enuf weight is cos ive been eating too little. yes girls, i am having weight problems too. So now i am planning to drink soy milk/milk every 2 to3 hours to increase my calorie intake. lets see how this works out. on my weight as well as my wallet =)

Whew. The worst of this semester has passed. yea there are still some tests and projects due, but at least there are no deadlines breathing down my neck. It is like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and whatever lies beyond this week is a little later on. ahhh the blissful feeling of unconstrained free timeeeee. It is something to really savor, for the feeling will be gone in no time.

today was supposed to be the day that i will attend my first wedding dinner. Supposed. that means that i didn't go in the end. So many changes here and there and in the end some ppl cannot make it so i didnt go =( and i guess i am prob one of the few ppl who actually want to experience a wedding atmosphere. maybe after the attending of my first wedding i will understand y ppl dun really want to attend a wedding. But till then, i will wait patiently, for someone to invite me to their wedding =)

So today (sat) i went to school to help out the YEN club.  i was supp to help man the drink and tid bit store that they had set up for SIM open house. When i reached there i didnt know anyone, so it was kinda awkward. Almost everyone there were exco/committee members so it was kinda hard to start a convo with them. There also didnt seemed to be anything for me to do; and nobody bothered to ask me to do anything, so i basically just stood around and acted be cool. It was kinda awkward for a while but i kept my composure cos i know that i have an awesome haircut. For a while i wondered if it was a right decision to have volunteered to help out. i mean the whole idea that i did so was to get to know some of the club ppl. lucky some friendly ppl came to talk to me *no doubt due to my awesome hair* and i made the initiative to talk to the others. The whole day was quite boring but i made a few friends and acquaintances, so i suppose it was a fruitful day after all =)

Ok recently there seems to be some problem between 2 friends. Actually its a problem between a good friend and a so so friend, but both of them used to be best friends Lets call them A and B respectively. It is difficult to explain the problem but i feel very sorry for my good friend A. k maybe sorry is not the word. It is more of a feeling of injustice. Kinda like the way u feel when u see how a bad guy is bullying the good guy in those korean/taiwanese dramas *er hem Wa Meng Di* The way i see and hear it, B is the one at fault. She is the one who is not taking any iniative to maintain the friendship, not willing to communicate, and not caring for A's feelings. I dun want to make a judgment, after all A refuses to call B to talk things through. But i did actually try to contact B to ask her side of the story. Maybe its because im a outsider, or maybe she thinks i am being too kaypo, but she didnt reply me although i did imply i was trying to meditate the problem. I guess B is simply bo chap. Not that i am surprised though. I had a argument with B once that gave me the impression that she was not willing to do as much for A as A has done for her. For now, I feel very annoyed with B's behavior, but i shant go on further. I will reserve the names i have for B till I get more info on what is really happening.

anyway God bless Japan, may it recover from its earthquakes and its nuclear meltdown.

Relentless. The work just keeps coming. all attempts to pre empt them have failed. im working on a thin margin for error now, finishing one assignment after another, just in time for the deadlines. So far i am still able to hold the lines without eating into my night's sleep. However, my day life has borne the brunt of this onslaught. I have sacrificed much of my exercise time and internet time to complete the assignments. Oh i miss the days when i could just pick up my guitar and strum a few tunes or go to the stadium for a good run. Every single weekday i come home and start working on my computer, no time for tv, no time to chat. The weekends have seen me couped up in my room most of the time, working from dawn to dusk. It is a wretched existence to always be worrying about deadlines and presentations. 2 weeks, since the gates to hell opened and i am already feeling the strain. How do i hang on till April?  It will be arduous task to say the least, and i am afraid for the Week of the UGC midterms; my organizer has already spotted 1 assignment due date along with a marketing midterms. who knows wad other manner of horrors will plague me then. Just yesterday, i had a scare when the SIM website was down for 2 days since Thursday, in which 2 of my assignments were due online. Student help desk could not do anything, but it is fortunate i was able to get into the website to complete my work. This, i attribute to the devil's luck more than anything else; and it is to his mercy that i leave my fate to. I think i shall end this log on this note; even now i hear the cries of these vile assignments baying for my blood. May i make it, mind and soul intact, to see the light of dawn at the end of this dark and foreboding night.

P.S. there is no water in my house now and i cant bathe. seriously fml

you say i love you boy, i know you lie~~

whew it has been a friggin long week. 2 midterms and 1 presentation. And of cos add on my flu and the 2 online hw/quizzes in which for 1 of them, nobody really had any idea wtf the teacher was toking in the lecture so we googled and guessed half of the questions. I wun say it is the busiest week of my life, but its definitely one of the more hectic ones.

And i dun see my future weeks getting any better. the last time i checked, there are much more assignments, projects, quizzes and midterms on the way. i suddenly feel a tinge of regret that i am taking 5 modules instead of the usual 4 this sem, thinking that the online mods would be easier. But i guess i cant complain though, i hear that the local uni weeks are more hectic. but then it makes me wonder about those people in UOL, little amt of lectures and only 1 final test. AND its direct honors. was it worth going to UB?

Anyway, with a new year comes new dreams and resolutions. i want to achieve smt big this year. But i dunno how to do that. So, hoping that it will give me some inspiration, i have joined the SIM entrepreneur club. The interview was last week and i made it! but i think everyone who went made it so i guess it isnt really a big deal. Oh and i guess it isnt really a big deal, but i joined the club on my own, as in as of now i dunno anyone in the club *the first meeting is next next week*. And speaking of that, i took up the challenge of doing my UGC *history* analysis and presentation on my own as well. *it is usually done in groups of 2 or 3*.  Loner much?

But seriously, it wasnt easy making the decision to do things on my own. I tot really hard about it. Should i join a cca alone? i know that everyone was going like hey lets join a cca! but really, my gut feeling, my cynical side, told me no one would join so when i made the decision to join i knew it would be a one man show. One part of me was saying "nooo u will be outcast-ed there, esp since u are one of the only UB student in the club! another part was saying, " u dun have to put urself through this awkwardness u know, there are other ways to get inspiration."

But nope, i had to look at the bigger picture. The possibility of meeting new people and learning new skills/knowledge was there. There was nothing to lose but everything to gain. at most i will lose my face because of the awkwardness. But how much is face worth if u are a nobody? nothing really. And so i made my decision.

As for the UGC presentation, it was pretty much had to do with redeeming myself from the awful and nerve wrecking presentation i gave during my Music module 2 semesters back. I was disturbed by it and i would forever remain huanted until i did a solo presentation decently. And it just happened that the chance to do so came in the form of the UGC presentation *i didnt do it for my previous sem cos i didnt know it was possible, and probably lacked the motivation*. I assure u that it wasnt easy, esp since it was meant for a group of at least 2. Oh and that i was the only group presenting that day *aka the only 1 since i was the only person in my group* so i was I was free frag for like 30 mins *accurate cos ben recorded the Q and A for me* of questions bombardment *Geezus!!!*. And yea i could not ans some of the questions. y? cos some of those bastards just wanted to make life hard for me.

sadist: asks a question

me: *after pausing for 10 seconds + frantically looking through the document for an answer* gives a reply

sadist: "erm actually that dosen ans my question." *asks ques in a diff way*

me: *wtf?* "oh ok hmm" gives thoughtful face for another awkward extended period of time, gives reply

teacher: so does that ans your question?

sadist: erm..... not really...

me: *loads an imaginary shotgun*

Yea i was being raped down there. Good thing i managed to ans the questions posed by the teacher though, or i would probably be seriouslyf***ed. Anyway despite having a pretty horrible time, i must say i did a decent job. Not because it went well, but because i was assured that i had done my best.

lol ok this post is super long. but just a few more stuff to say.

My song of the week:



this song is like a melody in my head that i cant keep out got me singing like, na na na na everyday, like my ipod stuck on replay =)

Also i saw this pic on one of my photographer friend's fb. i think its a pretty funny response but it could just be me haha.

anyway on a pessimistic note, i really hope that no one is going to be pushing work to me during the grp projects just cause i finished my UGC project while they chose to theirs later when all the other projects are probably due. Woe to those who try to take advantage of me, I pray this not for my own sake but for theirs.

Its a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Ever woke up in the morning and suddenly feel like bursting out in song? That's pretty much wad happened when i woke up this morning =) there is this song called "Marry you" by bruno mars, that has been stuck in my head since i first heard it on tuesday. well, actually i think i first heard it on glee, then i heard it on the radio. but whatever man i decided to do a cover of it. actually, i think my strumming is kinda weird but then at that time it felt right so oh well. Besides i am having a sore throat and running nose now and so im lazy to do another one.




As i mentioned earlier i am currently kinda sick now. I also dun really know how i got sick. i mean, yesterday i was still working out at the gym with great gusto. i even made plans to do speed training 30/60 today. then this morning i woke up with a minor sore throat that got worse as the day went on =/


alright anyway here is something i wanted to post on my blog since thursday cos its just SOOOOOOO cute. I saw it on thursday's newspaper and it was talking bout the recent snowstorm or smt that has been hiting london or smt. cant remember the details. anyway its of this little girl who is holding a toy rake looking shocked or smt *appalled? maybe*. The captions says she is helping her mum shovel the snow but nah i think she is just standing there not helping much *how much can u do with a toy rake?* and yea, probably freezing her ass off in the cold. Still, inaccurate captions aside, u have to admit that its a cute picture.

Ilona Chisholm, 13 months, helps her mom shovel snow out of their driveway using a rake in Cohassett, Mass., Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2011.

My CNY break

ok so everyone at UB had a one week break because of CNY... but it wasnt anything much really. I dun have relatives in sg so no visiting or preparation needed. of cos some ppl may prolly be like "omg soo good! u have no idea how sian it is to be visiting or have everyone crowding in ur house etc etc" they are right u know. I dun really get all the hype and fuss about cny traditions like the cleaning and relative visiting and all. but yea i dun really get any ang baos on CNY so i guess that pretty much balances it out =(

Nth much really happened during the cny break, other than monday, when i went for steamboat with king, ws and ben. eat halfway than rain! well done. And i didnt get to eat any of my fave beef stuff cos ben cannot eat beef! =/ Other than that, my family and i spend a night at some god forsaken place at sentosa. the next day, we went to universal studios. i was mostly bored the whole time there; i was on ebuddy chatting with whoever i could chat with online. I dun mean to be a spoilsport but i just feel so constricted when i am with my parents you know? but i supp that's another story.

Yea so here are just some pics snapped during my stay at sentosa.i will be going tru my day with the pics

xiao mei's 24 birthday

Ok so after her 23 birthday celebration on tuesday, we celebrated xiao mei's 24 birthday. went to Itacho sushi at ion. The que was quite long and to book a place there, each person needs to spend a minimum of $50, which is INSANE. I spend around $49, but thats because i ordered alot of expensive stuff like the Super jumbo scallop sushi and i think some cod liver sushi? anyway the sushi there is really expensive, but i like the sushi rice though. It taste like the Japanese rice in japan, which in case u dun know, is DAM NICE. I mean, when i was there, i ate rice for breakfast, lunch and supper. Yea so the rice at Itacho sushi pretty much comes close to that which i ate in japan.

.

anyway this week has been really hectic for me and i'm so tired. i think i may not blog as much this sem. firstly cos i am probably going to be dam busy, with cca *tentative* and 5 modules. 2 are online mods but its just means that lectures are online, there is still hw and all zzzzz. Secondly cos i dun really wan to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. I will put it bluntly. i do my best to be reasonable and truthful, but ppl still suspect and than judge me without looking at themselves first. etc, who is the stubborn 1? I dun think its fair to say that the other party is stubborn when one does not have a solid reason for his stand. alright i shld prob stop here before i go on ranting again.

nights ppl!!

Xiao mei's 23 birthday

just last Tuesday, king, wei sian *aka xiao mei*, wai mun, ben and i went to bugis... AGAIN. It was my 4th time there this month!!! holy cow!! anyway we went to Wongkok Char Chan Teng, which is just beside Let's sweets. anyway, they have this promotion where if its ur birthday *up to 3 days before and after*, they will give u a complementary super jumbo size cup of teh peng. And yea, it was xiao mei's bright idea to get it and we all had to suffer the consequences after that. see greedy la, wan celebrate bday so many times!

after that i and king went cny shopping with a bloated tummy. I also went to cut my hair that day. i told the person to "random" hair style. In the end my har look like so mushroom. but some ppl say not bad. but that some ppl includes xiao mei sooo...

anyway we went shopping all the way to 10pm. i have only 2 words to describe that day:

SO FCKING SHAG

mercy!!

where you go?

i'm so sad. i lost my mp3 that's been with me since jc1. that's 5 years till now. that's 5 years of being dropped, thrown, and drenched in rain. 5 years and was still going strong. now its missing. wad a way to go.

saded.

=(

cloudy with a chance of xiao long baus

guess wad? i finally went to try out the holland v's xiao long bau buffet! very value for money! for just 23 dollars inclusive gst, you get to eat all the xiao long baus you want! and the steamboat was good too. Sure, their options of steamboat liao may be a little limited, but it isn't that bad. we ordered oyster mushrooms, enoki mushrooms, pork slices, seaweed, liver, beef stomach etc. not that bad. just spam the ones you like =)

anyway, boon, kx, wl and i went there to eat at around 10 30pm. the timing is super weird but that was the only timing left when boon called the place on wed or thurs. Before that, boon, kx and i went out to try shopping for cny clothes. but then i realized that i probably wun get anything when i am shopping with them cos well, its hard to explain so i wun. So we decided to watch some horror show but the tix sold out while we were queing for it *yesterday's crowd was INSANE* and so we went to the arcade at cinelesisure for a while before heading to holland V.

NEW SHOOTING GAME!!!

Quite cool, all u have to do is guess the number of toys in that machine and you stand a chance to win some vouchers! and there is no minimum purchase required to do it!

hmm this bus reminds me of smt but i cant seem to place a finger on wad ... a feeling of deja vu?

1 shot 5 baskets of xiao long bau

some weird jelly with small flowers that look like flies embedded within.


so we stayed at the place till 12 30+ and so we had to take separate cabs home. my cab driver was quite friendly and kept toking to me in chinese, and yea so i had to reply back in chi, and i was rather impressed by myself i must say hahaha. anyway he tot boon and wl just got grad from O level and tot that i was their senior or smt. then i told him no i in uni now then he was quite shocked, well, judging from the tone of his voice. "HUH?! SO u finished NS already ar??* i wanted to ask him if i dun look like a uni student but i supposed that his presumption was based on his presumption of the girls. then after that he asked me how old i was, 23? 24? lol he really anyhow whack 1 haha

Ben's birthday celebration

Went to Lets Sweets at Bugis Junction on monday to celebrate ben's birthday. Actually, we had planned to go to eat steamboat but it was raining too heavily so we had to make do. As u can see from the pics later on, its a buffet dinner that consist of pizza, pasta and desserts. Didnt really feel like eating pizza and pasta but the other places were too crowded so it couldnt be helped. anyway, we bought for ben a DC comic flash t-shirt, from the same shop as my batman and king's superman shirt, but ben too ps to wear. so after that we went to play super mario kart abit, then we went to eat rochor tau hui at Balestier road cos the original one was too crowded, after which we went to AMK MacDonald cos ppl say its haunted there. It was there that i realize how scared of ghosts everyone was. in the end i walked into the playground alone =.= so after that returned to the Macdoalds and we ordered cinnamon meltz with 1 candle as a substitute for ben's cake. *above pic*

wad it shld be

wad it was

you know after that whole day i have a few questions on my mind.

1) why would someone feel a need to put a fake bday date on facebook? Is it like those fiction stories where the knowledge of a person's birth credentials give great power to the person who knows it? thus needing to give a fake one?

2) why do ppl play games/surf the net on their phone when they are out with friends? Is my knowledge of social etiquette out of date? Is that now the whole purpose of going out?  To fully utilize of the phone in the presence of living human beings?

3) why we refuse to confront our fears? and then make excuses to deny that we are afraid? why the need for a facade of bravado?